edit: cannot be fucked getting into this, although i'll leave the quotes

“Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity, you don't realize how irritating it was 'til it's gone”


"It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge"


"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue"

i dont think being a virgin makes you better than anyone else... the same way i dont think not being a virgin makes you better than anyone who is.


i just dont think its something im desperate to give away. it sounds really corny but the first person i sleep with i want to be the same person i want to spend the rest of my life with. and one of the really crucial things about this for me would be i want to be really sure that she feels the same way about me.


people keep using the "practice" reason as the crux for why you should have lots of sex before you are sure you are truly "in love" as some bizarre rationalisation for almost tricking the person you truly want to be with into sticking with you. as if the person you truly care for should only care for you if you can be amazing every single time you have sex. this i almost parallel with "you should be rich so you can attract a 'better' partner" which doesnt say much for the person you end up with.


i really do honestly believe that after the sexual attraction is gone, the thing that keeps people together (or in some cases keeps people sexually attracted to each other) is how emotionally connected they are. sure, sex is important and its obviously something i want to have. just not with anyone. because i believe if i cant at least put aside some of my lusts and desires for 'the one' then what am i willing to give up? and would i be worth someones love if i cant? particularly as thats the kind of person i want to find myself...


something else i believe to be tied to this, i really really really want to have kids. its probably the only thing that i would feel is a REAL accomplishment in my life. and i would want (again ideally) to find someone as passionate about having kids as i am. at any rate, i believe im still young and not desperate so im not ready to in my mind 'settle' yet.


its probably not the easier option, but i think its the right one for me atm.



also not to be contrary or anything... but faith isnt just a religious thing. every time i go into a building i have faith its not going to collapse on me. i imagine it would be quite irritating if i had no faith.

wannabe scholars always falsely assuming that bashing religion will make them sound smarter =S

i dont mind if you want to get into it. im not exactly someone who hides my opinions when people dont agree with them.


IM NOT A FUCKING COWARD M8.

you replied anyway...

why do you place this high importance on sex? In other words why does it matter if you have had sex with other people before your one true love, especially if it's not the main thing that holds a relationship together anyway...



unless you mean you're holding out as a means to prove your love, which is according to your logic, retarded. Because she should love you for you not for what you can do. (ie: not for the fact you are good in bed and thus logically not because you held out in not having sex)

you also just said that's the kind of person you want to find... meaning you're only looking for other like minded virgin girls. have fun finding them.

I hope it all works out for you m8er, the only problem is, although I'm sure you'll disagree, the real world doesn't work like that and in the vast vast vast vast vast majority of cases the first relationship where you think you're in love is going go down in flames

Keeping in mind for some reason you seem to be separating sex from the rest of a relationship, I mean, being human we are invariably supposed to be close to one another. From a young age being around people is literally healthy for you. Hugs, kisses all these things. When you're in a relationship even closer physical intimacy including sex has been shown to increase overall happiness. Don't look at it as straight 'sex' as such, but rather the physical intimacy that accompanies it. For me, the idea of having a girlfriend and not having sex seems seriously dumb. Not because I want to get off, but because it makes me feel overall better when I share the experience with her.



From what I gather the only reason you put forward as to why you don't want to have sex is because you think that for some reason you have to give something up for some girl you haven't met yet in order for her to love you, I mean like you said, 'why else would she'? Well, Minigin, maybe if you followed your own logic you'll see that she'll love you for you, and not because you came up with some random idea that she could only love you if you hadn't had sex.


edit: the faith referred to their is clearly faith in religion. Faith that the building will not fall is based upon some notions of fact, the fact that you have the knowledge that in general buildings are built solidly. Religion on the other hand is based upon no fact at all.

someone who i want to raise kids with would be committed, loving (obv), able to make her own decisions and be confident enough to follow through.

yes i would obviously prefer to find someone who is like minded, im not sure who wouldnt, and i dont think its at all impossible. people like me exist... i would be a fool to think otherwise.


and again you use bad logic in your argument. sure many relationships where people are convinsed they are in love end badly, but the conclusion you seem to be trying to draw from this is that it is their lack of experience that is causing that relationship to end poorly. (although reading your post more closely almost seems like that they think they are in love is causing the relationships to fail?)

there are a host of other explanations (the vast majority of them better).


and i also have faith in my friends to have my back as they should have faith that i have theirs. would be p damned annoying if i didnt have that.

i urge you to reconsider pushing these awful quotes as a backdrop for your beliefs. cos its going to end badly.

minigin don't look into the quotes at all, I didn't, I literally found the first ones that came up that had to do with virginity. (although I do like the third one and think it applies directly to your argument)

Either way your argument that you should abstain because it's the only way to prove your love is pretty stupid.

Also, why is it sex reaches this holy category? Why not any time you have kissed another girl? Or other sexual acts with other girls? I mean shit, if you can't even avoid kissing other girls how can your love be proved????

minigin, you're going to disagree. But the realities of life are that just being in love doesn't make for a relationship, relationships can and often do fail even when both parties are in love. I thought I had an idea of how relationships worked until I had my first proper one, and now in my second one I've learnt even more. Go speak to people who have had a few decent relationships and you'll understand the importance of experience in this area. Not to say that first time around never ever works, just that it almost never does in reality. (Honestly, I understand why you're going to disagree with me here, so there's no real point replying to this, my advice though is gain some experience.. you're not getting any younger m8)

another reason you argue poorly is because you always try to paint other peoples arguments in extreme light, as if they cant speak up and say 'hang on... thats not what i said'.


in this case, i didnt say its the only way to prove your love. but it certainly is a way and i think it highlights very important personality traits for the kind of person i want to end up with and start a family with. whats more to some degree it reassures me that what i want is possible and out there. turning my back on this is not going to get me any closer at any rate.

kissing and touching can be intimate but not on the same level i think. so not really worth responding to? unless you really dont see the difference?

My question is why do you think not having sex proves anything at all? Why is sex this sacred thing that is at least one proof that you love some person you haven't met yet?

One quote actually comes into play here

"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue"

You say being a virgin is a very important trait, why is it a very important trait?

are you suggesting that my relationships dont count because i havnt had sex?

if you want to continue your 'my experience. your argument is invalid.' argument we can stop right now. because not only do i not trust you to give an accurate account of your experiences, but i have no respect for them. you clearly have not thought enough about anything we have discussed in the past few weeks to be able put together a coherent argument not smothered in bias (which would be fine but that you keep trying to pass it off as fact - "the realities of life").

you should be careful building yourself up in your own mind like that. you might start your own religion one day.

can you please point out where i said "being a virgin is a virtue"? you cant... because i didnt say it.